Regrets are no longer a stranger to me.
I know I have to learn to suck it up and just head forward. but sometimes it's easier said than done. how i wish i can start everything afresh! undo the things i did or undo the decisions i made...sobs. Some decisions lead me to rejection. sigh. I feel so useless! hopeless! value-less. whatever-less that can think of...that's exactly how i feel right now at this moment!
thesis! why, oh, why did i choose IO? it's so freaking hard to find participants! i never felt so rejected in my whole life! i emailed a number of banks and companies for permission to distribute my survey..but most of them choose to remain silent! whereas some emailed back saying they are regret to inform me that..... = NO SURVEY PLEASE. never experienced so many no-s in my life. :'(
my life is so miserable with thesis! coupled with mj's you are not alone song and argument with him.. makes it even worse! combo deal. sigh.
arguments are not strange to me too. i guess the longer we are in a relationship, we tend to be complacent and take things lightly. there's no longer effort. or should i say same effort like it used to be. I know that someone wont read this blog, well, he never did care about what i said or feel. okay, maybe he DID. note that past tense. we no longer see each other as much as we used to. i wasnt used to it at the beginning. but because u said we no longer are teenagers... we dont have to meet each other so often since you have work cmmitment and stuff.. so fine. i accept it and learn to not expecting to see you every day. but now?? even sunday also calculate? sigh. i am beginning to think what you want in your relationship? since calculate till like that, i might as well work in kl after i graduate. less arguments + less expectations + less stress = both party happy.
maybe it's the hormone and the song that makes me feel so emo right now. and thus, the above paragraph appears.
whatever will be, will be.
i'm outta here.
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